Menstrual synching.

It’s a weird phenomena that’s gone from a dubious biological process to woman-code for ‘we’re real mates now because we surf the crimson wave AT THE SAME TIME’ to a genuine reason for pretty much everything. I bet Trump has some thoughts on it. Anyway, I guess it’s the female equivalent of touching another dude’s balls in rugby or barbecuing things together in meat-based show of harmonious male kinship. When your period syncs with another chicks, you are BLOOD sisters…

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100 lessons in life

I need to tell you about an interesting day I had a couple of years ago. A memorable one – for the wrong reasons.

Instead of walking with my usual head bowed, listening to music, trying to concentrate on not tripping up over small children or rogue squirrels (what the fuck are those little bastards on these days? They’re so brazen) I guess you could say I’d been looking ahead. Straight forward. Head held high.

Actually, what I’d really been looking at is beards. Fit beards EVERYWHERE. The kind that frequent coffee shops in London’s Soho (ahem, Fernandez & Wells) asking about the carbon footprint of a single Ecuadorian coco bean or some other wank. But frankly, hot beards can say whatever they want – because who is listening when you’re that pretty? No one, that’s who….

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